1. There are as many ways to home educate as there are families
Montessori, Charlotte Mason, classical education, autonomous, child-centred learning—you name it! When you start home educating, you come across so many philosophies and thoughts about how to go about it. It can be bewildering, and that’s perfectly fine. You just have to stop and ask yourself, “How do I get through this?”
The real key, I found, was not to get too hung up on a particular method. Not to go out and buy a ton of expensive curriculum or even download a heap of cheap or free curriculum. But to feel your way through it as a family. Each family, and each child in that family, will be different. And that’s why you’re home educating—to find a balance and to feel comfortable in that balance. There might be elements of something that really appeal to you; for example, when my kids were young, a lot of the Montessori activities worked really well as kinetic learning. As they had various forms of specific learning needs, such as dyslexia and auditory processing, that didn’t stop me from combining it with other elements such as Charlotte Mason-style picture study or co-ops. Things developed and moved on, were incorporated, or jettisoned as they worked at the time.
2. Don’t Compare
One of the curses of parenthood is comparison.
Home education offers us the chance to personalise learning according to our child’s needs, loves, and strengths. Comparisons with other children and other families fundamentally undermines that personalisation. It creates a feeling of inadequacy and not doing enough. As parents, we feel that enough without seeking it out.
By all means, swap ideas, pool resources, and share in your home-schooling community. But I’ve learned to avoid the pull of comparison and measurement because the important thing is to realise your child’s potential for who they are, not how they measure up.
3. To Structure or Not to Structure?
Again, I think this one is personal. I think you need to do what makes you feel comfortable. I always admired the families that let their children lead their own learning and trusted that over time everything would be covered. My own children needed specific support, and I personally felt that some structure was needed and also helpful.
For children who might have non-verbal learning difficulties, some structure can help them organise what feels like a disorganised world. So, when I was homeschooling, I structured our mornings to cover skills that needed specific support and reinforcements. This sounds a little school-like, but the structure included yoga, singing, outside walks, and art as well as English and maths.
The key is to find what works for you and then not worry and sometimes break your own rules!
4. Enjoy It
It is easy to lose focus on the joy. There are some days when life might feel like a challenge. But there are many more that are full of fun and a real sense of accomplishment and family. Hold these days close to your heart, bottle them up for the future, take lots of pictures, and smile.
5. Co-ops Are Great!
I was part of three great co-ops and we made friends for life. They provided different experiences and fields of knowledge and lots of social interaction. I know that one of the questions that is most often asked is ‘But what about socialisation???!’ But what all long-term home ed families will tell you is that the problem isn’t finding spaces to be social but finding time in the diary to fit in all the social activities.
My experience of co-ops was that they were a great balance and enhanced everything about the home ed journey.
6. Foster Wonder – Education Is 3D!
What do I mean by ‘3D’? I this feels intuitive and more obvious for younger children as we’re more likely to go on ‘wellie walks’ or to forest schools, cook historical foods, do museum days and the multitude of activities that are put on for families with younger children. It lifts learning from the page and changes it to experience. My adult son still recalls so much that was inaccessible to him through the written word but was made real and exciting through ‘3D’ learning.
How can we foster that in teens? One of my favourite things is to take them to the shops! Walk down the high street and ask them to look up. Beyond the plate glass shop fronts is the history of your town, and the architecture tells a story that is real and lived in. Look in public spaces and note the statues and monuments—again, this is ‘3D’ history or art waiting to be investigated.
7. Play to Your Strengths; Get Support When You Need It
I deeply admire parents who have the personal resources to teach across a wide spectrum of subjects. I was pretty comfortable with that in the primary years, but there were areas in which I was happier to get support. My kids did art with a native German speaker, and I used a fully comprehensive maths program that I loved. We had a science coop, which was great fun. Later on, specialist knowledge for exam subjects for science, languages, and maths was essential. I could love supporting and developing what I was best at and could relax about the other subjects. Perfect!
The key is not to feel you have to do it all. You don’t!
8. Some Days, Just Go With the Flow
It might be your kids having an off day, or it might be you having an off day. Either way, I had to learn that it is just fine to go with it, shift down a gear, and let the day unfold. Reading together, watching a film, walking, or just having some alone time is beneficial too. I had to learn to embrace it and park that feeling you must be ‘doing.’
9. Free Stuff is Great … Though Sometimes Not Enough!
Maybe it’s just me, but while there are loads of great free materials out there, for me, personally, they often weren’t enough. Admittedly, I probably accumulated way too many resources, but I often went with the Charlotte Mason ‘living books’ approach, so I didn’t jettison masses when the kids grew up as I had texts that I still love and refer to even now.
10. Be Kind to Yourself, You’re Doing a Great Job
So this has to be the hardest one to remember. I had to remember that I was doing so much: with the kids, in the home, prep, budgeting, community building… You’ll have your own list. On the inside it might feel like ‘blah,’ but from the outside, everyone else will see you’re doing an amazing job. It is hard, but well worth being kind to yourself and giving yourself some credit.
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